Years ago (okay, nine years ago) I was at my wits end, feeling done with (and angry at) my body – specifically the parts that made me a bearer of children. Probably 10 years of not-gonna-get-into-it-here-because-lotsablood took their tolll, and I went to the doctor to demand a hysterectomy. I asked very nicely and calmly presented my arguments and evidence.
None of the “against” presented by the doctor swayed me – from “you’ll get more body hair” (HAHAHAHA NOT POSSIBLE) to the relative dangers and recovery from fairly significant surgery. Finally he just asked that I wait 6 months. I gave it a year. Never thought I would be grateful for menopause, but it looked after the worst of my symptoms. Yay for me.
A very good friend of mine put up with a lot of feminine health shit for 20 years longer than I did, and this week had her lady-bits removed. It’s amazing what we expect women to put up with, and we clearly need more women in the feild of gynecology.
Anyway, relief to finally be arriving at that day has so far outrun the fear for my friend. However, I hear the pain is something else today – a reminder about some of those “against” arguments my (male) doctor made.
To lighten things up a bit, I will repost a story I wrote on that day in 2015 when I arrived home after being asked to wait 6 months. It’s pertinent 🙂
FOR SALE: ONE UTERUS
Reason for selling: no longer needed. Uterus may not be exactly as shown – image is for reference purposes only.
Description: one uterus, used only twice (that I know of). Still works, but has a few problems. Have seen a couple of experts to discuss repair but am not happy with offered solutions or waiting periods. Would prefer simply to be rid of it A.S.A.P.
Optional accessories: I can also include two ovaries which are not showing any signs of wear and are in exceptional condition despite their age. (I have been told that they cause problems having nothing to do with their primary purpose, and are external to their current location, but I dispute that). Buyer of uterus can have one or both, I don’t give a shit which.
Warranty: Expired. This uterus has performed very well in the past, nurturing two female children almost to term in separate pregnancies. Do not be deterred by “almost to term” as a full 9 month term is too goddamned long anyway, and both infants were healthy and of good weight. One had a pointy head at birth, but that was the fault of another accessory which is not for sale at this time, as it is still used occasionally.
More Photos: May be supplied upon request but are only black and white, grainy, and show tiny clenched fists and legs, none of which are included with the uterus.
Delivery: Haven’t actually figured that out yet. May be a problem.
Disclaimer: copyright holder of image is https://iheartguts.com/. You can buy this stuffed uterus from them, although the model available now is slightly different. From what I understand, this particular one was faulty and had ovaries that fall off. Mine do not.
Feel free to make a reasonable offer. Or any offer at all. Please.
When I thought about this story, I looked up that uterus and found it at the scienceworld.ca online store – so I ordered one for my friend, and supported knowledge and science at the same time!
