"Warranty: Expired. This uterus has performed very well in the past, nurturing two female children almost to term in separate pregnancies. Do not be deterred by “almost to term” as a full 9 month term is too goddamned long anyway, and both infants were healthy and of good weight. One had a pointy head at birth, but that was the fault of another accessory which is not for sale at this time, as it is still used occasionally."